Meeting This MadWoman

I could just endlessly scream, run raging through the streets with a maniacal grimace of disgust and hopelessness cemented upon my face. The Worker’s Compensation menace is more than I can take. My employer says they have no position to currently accommodate my handicap self and they won’t let me go because that could change. So, I am employed with no income, yet unemployable. The insurance company isn’t liable to pay me anymore, since they have played the game far craftier then I. I can’t get unemployment because I am technically employed and my lawyer won’t call me. I guess I’ll be looking for a shelter next month, better get started now. One twisted blessing is that everyone is jumping ship before it sinks, so I will at least lose the burden of taking others with me. AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

To Be-Friend or not, that is the Question

I recently have received some email from my match making Friendster site from several different men. Now I have clearly listed that I am only interested in making connections with the female gender, yet they persist. I decided to respond to Tunde in Nigeria, just to be friendly and broaden a “FRIEND” horizon. Tunde replied, quite sincerely, love only on his horizon. Maybe it’s an immigration thing. I am getting a real kick out of it, so I hope you will too.
This is the exact message, HMMMM, I asked if English was his first language, no response to that.


hello lady
Am very happy 4 the msg u sent o me
well
my name is tunde a graduate in international
relations
and i love travelling from one place to another and i
love having friends out there if u dont mind to be myfriend out there.
little i love many games like basket ball
,footbal ,table tennis e.t.c and i work in a private
stock brokers in my country.but i recieved a little
money to do things but just to make my self happy
well i just want to tell u that am still searching 4
my true love.
I u see lady there many people in this
world
who are not serious with friendship do come to the
cafe room and to make people sad they are not
serious infact some are hallot street urchins but, hi
am very
serious interms of having friends out there and i
need
some who is goin to show me love
more,so i had wanted to go oiut with some out
there in u.s.a bcos i belive as an INTERNATIONAL
GRADUATE I BELIVE i will like to go out with that
is very outspoken and i went throuh ur page i read
everything there i lovely am 37 years old now
so lady i will liuke u send what u have left
if u dont mind us goin into the world of friendship
and as an international relationts guy am even
planning to come there so i could have my masters
in
inter rel
well hope will could meet each order so lady i will
like to tell me liitle about u bye 4 now
and i mind u to listening to ur lovely voice on phone
out there
this my chating id (tundesung) bye 4 now i love u
out there
tunde

Highway out of Hell

Well, I am now embarking on a new path in my Workers Comp nightmare and I anxiously hope the grass will finally stop its endless wilt and die phase and finally lay a fresh cut, golf green turf for me to childishly play. I am officially returning to work. I’d jump for joy if it weren’t such a precarious march toward an undetermined end. I won’t be capable to handle my original position due to the strenuous physical requirements, so I have no idea what lovely surprises my employer will cast my way. Soon, I will be an independent, normal human being again. No spying insurance agents looking to catch me functioning in a manner that is not consistent with my injuries, nor a sick desperation each time my check doesn’t arrive on schedule. The end of hell is near and I am so utterly emotionally exhausted from this nasty relentless game that the sigh I will release may drop me as a faint would an overly clad and tightened corseted woman from the pre 1900’s.

Sweet Treat

Chocolate melting off a perfect wine-red cherry,
Frantic, licking,
My bodies clock ticking,
Passion going harey carey.

Whip cream mingled with my sweet sap
Wet lips savoring,
My bodies flavoring,
Now’s not the time for a catnap.

Pleasure seeking in a sea of scrumptious treats
Long fingers, poking
Hands hot, fire stoking
Sweat, and sweet, O’s melting seats.

Come hither, fruit bowl’s full,
Whip it, beat it,
Brownies, chocolate, eat it
Till ecstasy is anything but dull.

Yawn

I am an eating and sleeping machine. I think I did more of both in the last two days then I’ve done in ages. I must have slept around 18 hours yesterday, ate 3000 calories and tried to watch TV while doing both. Maybe my totem is a bear and the chill in the air sent me prematurely into hibernation.

Fight Night

The breath from your incensed lips
Seems so rank and sweet
No resuscitation
Encrustation
No inner self-evaluation
So sour are the bitter words
From the lips I just kissed
Moments ago
I cannot breath
And you can’t resuscitate
With the foulness of your
Breath
We are dying
Have been slowly
Letting out the life
Only silence has made it
Last this short
Boxing stance
You jab
I dodge
You Punch
I duck
I’m too fast for you.

How to Create a Project out of Clearance Splurging

1. Take a trip to your favorite store for specific necessities and allow your eyes to take in the plethora of clearance merchandise.
2. Allow your mind to justify that tool or bolt of fabric by saying to yourself, “I am creating a positive environment for myself and my family/guests.” (Now, don’t you feel the empowerment taking hold?)
3. While your creative juices are freely flowing and your imagined projects abounding, begin gathering merchandise. Get as many “on sale” products as possible and remember… you can always use these items in the future.
4. Now it’s time to gather the non-sale accessories to complete the various projects. (If you chose to leave without these, it will give you permission to go shopping somewhere else. Beware, that might cause severe agitation, since the projects you’ve imagined will not be able to be completed and proof of their benefit will be impossible to obtain, hence, canceling out step 2.)
5. Now that you have gathered all your project(s) materials, calculate the total. Often this total is quite a bit more then you expected.
6. Refer to step 2
7. Continue shopping for the items, you originally came for. Don’t despair if you now don’t have the money to get them all. Generic food deals are on every isle, and maybe you have needed to put yourself on a diet.
8. Get in line to checkout and silence that voice of worry screaming in your sub-conscience.
9. Refer to step 2 again.
10. While placing items on the ebony belt at checkout, take 1 or 2 project items out of the buggy and stuff them into the candy and magazine racks to avoid embarrassment when the total is over your budget.

Oh withered time and tattered years
Revolution against evolution
A vain war
Battleground scars
No matter the laser rays
Invisible age
Unavoidable end
The dark bed of which
We are created
Beckons
ThenDemands

Great Exertations

A strange thing happened to me the other night. I am still suffering the repercussions and I wonder on the medical possibilities with grave thoughts, or rather thoughts of the grave. Is it possible that the need for sexual release be so intense that your head explodes with such a tremendous force it makes you ill? Nausea and headache so extreme you can’t stand or think? The moment of the big O has now become a thing to fear. Well, I thought, let’s try this theory again the next night. I found myself straining so hard that instead of allowing the pleasure to wash over me with it’s waves of ecstasy, I knew I had to pull back to prevent my head from exploding. Damn, I guess I’ll have to throw out my super sonic, 20lb heavy-duty massager and get something a little more lightweight. SIGH!! I’ll miss the beast.

You are What You Eat

As I handle the ingredients required to prepare dinner for this evening, I wonder how I could have left vegetarianism behind. The menu for tonight is black bean soup, chicken mole enchiladas with queso fresca and crema, and roasted corn on the cob accompanied with a spicy, lemon butter sauce. Sounds scrumptious? To begin the task I must boil split chicken breast until the meat is tender enough to fall off the bone. As I pull the meat and skin from the carcass, images of my truck driving episodes assault my conscience. Trailers at the gas pumps, crammed with miserable cows being driven to the slaughterhouse, mewing desperately and seemingly staring and pleading directly at me to rescue them from their demise. The iron trailers are gouged with breathing holes with cow-shit splattered inside and out, and the smell…Oh god, the smell. I looked spiritually into their eyes every time their hell bound trailers were in my vicinity and vowed I wouldn’t feast upon them again. Unfortunately, I lied to myself. When you look into those gentle, sweet and innocent eyes it’s hard to make the connection between their beauty and that Black Angus T-Bone accompanied with mashed Tarragon Red Potatoes and Asparagus with Béarnaise Sauce served expensively at the restaurant. The chicken didn’t completely unglue me; it was the chunk of pork picnic used in the beans for flavor. UGH! A thick layer of skin encircles the fat and bone that was once a pig, BABE, get that image all mixed up with the disgusting task of cutting away the skin and fat. I feel like I’ve become Hannibal Lector. When I was a vegetarian, the smells were fresh and the tastes were clean. Smelling the raw chicken and pig and then comparing the scent of fresh vegetables while chopping the onion, bell pepper, green onion, cilantro, etc…no comparison.

To No Longer Be a Statistic

Another day of worker’s comp hell. Sometimes I wonder how I have endured for so long. You’d think the standards would be uniform for one of the country’s top injuries, but as I can attest, there are no standards. Doctor after doctor, lawyer after lawyer, insurance bastard squared, all screwing, reporting, advising, monopolizing, until all that is left is a tainted illusion of independence. And when your tears blind your vision and distort your voice, the hypocritical empathy is so vaguely evident that the exit paths become like a Stanley Kubrick movie, hallucinatory and slewed.

Nugget

My sister,
Deep and Lusty
Like
Hot Swedish chocolate
Tempting a hungry tongue
Her essence
Deceptively
Unattainable
The anger as rich and amber hued
As the love and generosity is effervescent
How far away she seems today
But forever in my heart
Etched magnanimously in my mind
The delicacy of her presence
Mystifies
Invisible
Spider-silk strings
That bind and unbind
A web of
Intricate
Unplanned
Patterned lace.
Ironic
The appearance of the very beast,
Reminiscent of her past
That Golden,
Exuberant,
God I want to be loved
Beast
And I’ll love you
Like
I’ll die for you
Beast
I’ll lick your wounds
Dry for you
Beast
I won’t blame you
When I cry for you
Beast
But
Never the less
I
Will
Wyle away
With thoughts of you
Beast
For you and only you.